Saturday, February 6, 2021

(pc: The amazing Hayley!)

Adios, teenage life. I'm really not sure anything will really change, except that I won't add "teen" to the end of my age. I don't necessarily feel older, but perhaps a bit more adultish. 

19 was a hectic year. I started off 19 with sickness (what we now think was Covid, but I survived so does it really matter?) and a college roommate who was becoming less and less my roommate. We got sent home mid March, and I ended my first year of college online. 

It was one of my goals to quit my job at McDonald's, and I am very happy to report that I did. I learned a lot from working there, but I am thankful that that season of my life is over. 

Once summer came, I was full time at the bakery, which proved to be a blast and a half. I loved every (well, nearly every) minute of being there, and I got to decorate so many cupcakes, cookies, donuts, and I learned all sorts of new production things. I grew closer with my friends there, and we enjoyed many many good conversations. 

Over the summer I was also teaching my music students, and it was good to see them stretch and grow in their musical capabilities. 

I also broke my first bone over the summer, and also spent lots of time with my sister at her apartment. 

The fall semester was complicated, stressful, wildly fun, and entertaining. I roomed with a new group of girls and that was an excellent idea. I took the most breaks, and somehow did the best possible academically, which was nice :)
Christmas break was extra long, so I of course spent time working. 

So that sums up 19. It was hectic, not only in the world, but also for a college/working girl. 

(pc: HAYLEY!)

In my post last year, I said I would like to. . .

. . . get through my freshman year with grades that are well-earned ... which I did! :) Freshman year's cumulative GPA was 3.893.

. . . work at the Beethoven Festival... which I unfortunately did not do, due to the pandemic and that sort of gathering and event being highly not advised. 

. . . quit at McDonald's... which I did! 

. . . keep teaching over the summer... Also did! 

. . . make more time for friends at school... yup, did that too!

. . . remember more often that God is in control... eeee, more or less. Worry and stress are still very present.

. . . keep a cheerful attitude. I realized a few weeks into school that most people (me included) only focus on the bad things... mostly! My roommates help me with this endeavor! 

. . . take my Mom riding... nope :( There was never an opportunity, although I did look into it a couple of times.

. . . enjoy my last year as a teen! :) ... I guess you could say that I did. :) 

(pc: The amazing Hayley!)

So now, what are some goals I have for 20? I'm not sure I have specific things this year, other than to 

... keep working and teaching

... continue my friendships here at school, specifically with my roommates

... spend more time with my Mom this summer! (well, always :))

... be committed. I don't want to have half-accomplished things sitting around. I want to be fully invested in my work and have a good sense of priorities. 

... and one other thing I hope will happen but will leave a secret for now. ;) 


Saturday, November 21, 2020

A reflection

This semester has been all but normal, if I can even trust us all to remember what normal was. My Covid test did come back negative, thankfully. Several weeks later, one of my suitemates had to quarantine due to close contact with someone who did test positive. The three of us that were left bonded quite a bit over that time, and I am very thankful for their friendship. 

Now I am finishing up the semester from my room here at school, in a state of semi-quarantine. We are allowed to leave our rooms for meals, and occasional trips to the library, but other than that we are stuck with our roommates. I actually haven't minded at all, except that some friends left right away, and some more recently. The campus is a sort of ghost town again. 

However, there are many bright sides. The walks I've taken this semester have been beyond expression. Maybe that's exaggerating, maybe not. Ang (roommate) and Hayley (suitemate) and I spent several hours in the bluffs together, hiking, sitting and admiring nature, talking, and journaling. 

Classes have been demanding on all of us. There were tears. There were little fights and temper tantrums. There were days of procrastination, and days of celebration. I can't wait for next semester.

Sticky notes are also a plus from this semester. We have over 150 between our two rooms, with motivational quotes, goofy sayings, Scripture verses, or some note of equal cheer on them. The rule is to hide them for someone else to find randomly. One favorite from my roommate says "Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you." I really do have great friends this semester. 

Music and design are still my passions, but this semester limited both of these areas, so I was forced in a way to explore different avenues. My Philosophy of Art class is an example of this, but in this case it was very enjoyable. 

Well, I need to work on finals and presentations. Sorry for such irregular posting. 



Friday, September 11, 2020

 Day TWO of self isolation. 

Where do I begin? I'm at school, for starters. It's been a lovely 20 days. And no, that's not sarcasm.

A few days ago I felt really cold, so I just bundled up. It was cold and rainy outside. The next day (yesterday, actually), I had a temp of 100, but throughout the day it dropped to a normal temp for me. Technically it's not a fever unless it's 100 or over. Then, beginning last night, I had a mild sore throat. 

SO today I feel much better when I wake up. And then I get an email from the school nurse about how most of the students that have tested positive have only shown symptoms for a day or so. So I went and got tested at the hospital. Hayley went with me for moral support. It was great. (that was sarcasm.) 

So now I've been self isolating for 2 days. Fun. Kinda. I'm sure I'll get bored. Hayley also retrieved my violin for me, so that's a comfort seeing it here. I would have separation anxiety otherwise. 

I'll keep ya posted. (ha.)

For the record, our campus is at 23 cases. 

Monday, March 30, 2020

What, she actually posted?

Hello, friends! I hope you've been staying healthy and safe. 

It's been a while since I've posted, I realize. In fact, this is my first real post this year. And it's almost April!!!! 

Everyone at school was watching the news, always talking about it, some hoping we would have school canceled, some hoping not. Then it was a Thursday and I had just gotten back from a walk (the weather at school had been absolutely gorgeous the last few days). I sat down at my desk after opening my window, opened up my email, and had one from the "officials." In the space of about two minutes my life flipped upside down. People in my dorm were screaming and running down the halls and banging on friends' doors. It was chaos. The email was sending us home until Easter break, and we'd be doing online classes. I was pretty sad, honestly, because we had all just gotten back from spring break and I was loving being at school. I didn't want to go home!!! The rest of Thursday I spent with friends talking and saying goodbyes. Some people skipped their Friday classes and left right away. I didn't. ;) I went to Friday classes and left first thing Saturday. I was going to surprise my sister. :) 

Saturday I drove up to the bakery where my sister and I both work, and "stole" my sister's spare apartment key. I happened to know she was at work at her other job, so I got a ride over her place so my car wouldn't be noticeable anywhere. I let myself in, said hi to her kitty (who loves it when I come over, btw), and prepared to surprise her. I set up my phone to video record her reaction, and I'm glad I did, although I missed the part where she was cry laughing. ;) 

Then I went home home. For the first few days it was nice. Now, not so much. We got another email saying that everything would be online until the end of the semester. Oi. It's been quite the adjustment into home life, into life where I am under my parents' roof again, into life without my friends, into online school. I don't much care for it. BUT, it is less stressful. 

Pretty much everything music went out the window. Quartet is over. Orchestra is over. The big gigs that we were looking forward to are canceled. Lessons continue via Zoom. One class meets via Zoom as well, and another uses it sporadically. 

I've kept my class schedule, and just do that class's homework during that time frame. It's worked decently so far. It's really weird. 

I miss my friends, my teachers, my bluffs!!! :) 

The GOOD news is that we are getting refunded for room and board, and we will be given a time to go move out of our rooms. I miss my roommate and my view! Next semester I'll have a different dorm and a different roommate, so "life in Skemp" is pretty much over. I try not to think about it. ;) 

I'm trying to be optimistic! How are you where you are? 


Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Hello, friends, and goodbye 2019!!! 

    In the past I've written recap posts, where I share some stats and goals. I remembered while at work today that I'd better get to this year's post tonight. I hope it finds you well!
    Let's start with the stats. My top viewed post was I Went Outside to Gather, and my top month for views was May, with 635 views, which, if you break it down is 158 views a week or 22 views a day. 

In my last new year's post, I only had three goals. Keep working, go to college, and find new places to take music.

Did I keep working? Yup. And if you'd told me that I would be working at McDonald's I would have just snorted. It was and is a mental struggle to work there, and it is hard to force myself to go there and be nice to customers and to stand in puddles of grease all day. However, there is the bakery, which makes up with fun and happiness the cringe of McDonald's.  Hopefully I'll be able to quit McDonald's and only work at the bakery and the Beethoven Festival this summer. 

Did I go to college? YUP. And learned a lot, I would say, while managing to keep good grades and juggling all the rehearsals. 

Did I find new places to take my music? I think so. I ended up with Blue Heron, unexpectedly, and that took me some fun places. Our trio also put on a recital, which I wasn't planning on. So, yes, I think so. 

This year brought a lot of discipline and prioritization skills which I wasn't expecting, and a lot of stress, naturally, with going to college and all. It was a big year. I graduated high school, had a senior recital, went to camp, went to college, worked two jobs plus teaching, and somehow managed to stay coherent (mostly). We put down our "big" animals too. 

Now you might be wondering what my goals for 2020 are. I saw a neat idea about having 20 goals for 2020 but I'm not sure I have 20. 

I would like to. . .

. . . get through my freshman year with grades that are well-earned

. . . work at the Beethoven Festival

. . . quit at McDonald's.

. . . keep teaching over the summer

. . . make more time for friends at school

. . . remember more often that God is in control.

. . . keep a cheerful attitude. I realized a few weeks into school that most people (me included) only focus on the bad things. 

. . . take my Mom riding.

. . . enjoy my last year as a teen! :) 

Well, that's all for now! Happy 2020 everyone!

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach my your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are my God and Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long." 
~Psalm 25:4-5

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Just a sneak peak at what I've been working on for art class!! 

Thursday, November 28, 2019

(me, John Paul, and Joel)

Happy Thanksgiving, folks! Sorry I've been so absent here lately. 

College eats time, much more than I thought it would. It eats sleep too. And what ended up being sacrificed was my blog. I'll still keep it up, and post occasionally. I hope you enjoy reading what is here. 

I'm on break, as you can imagine. I got back right before the storm hit on Tuesday, and spent yesterday and today with family. Tomorrow and Saturday I work, Sunday I go to church (I get to see all "my" little kids ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I am so excited!), and then Monday, probably late morning, I'll head back to school. 

I brought back Thinking Theologically homework (unit 5 reading), art (painting and designing), and music fundamentals (identifying triads and sevenths and inverting them). So far pretty much everything is done, so now I have a bit of time before mixing up some food. 

Our trio had it's recital on Sunday. It went very well, and the audience has a collective opinion that we radiated energy. It is a relieving feeling to know that every spare waking minute doesn't have to be devoted to trio rehearsal, although I do highly enjoy time with them. Next Saturday we have our chamber orchestra concert, and then Sunday we're taking a trio trip to Rochester to see the symphony and choir perform Handel's Messiah. The 11th is the last day of class and Joel and I have juries and then the Razumovskys will be playing in a recital in the evening. Then, probably near first thing in the morning on the 12th, we will pack up our belongings (well, mostly just instruments and music), and head back to Joel's and my home orchestra for a concert later that evening. We may end up going right back to school that night, or we might spend the night. It all depends on finals, which start the 13th. Sophia will be coming back with us, and I am excited about that. She'll get a taste of my crazy college life, and be there for Friday, Saturday (a final, a Christmas brunch at church, a BHC rehearsal...), and Sunday. Sunday is the Blue Heron Consort (oops, you don't know about that yet. Sigh. John Paul and I got into a local choral music group, and our Medieval and Renaissance concert is the 15th). Monday I have three finals (I think). Tuesday Sophia will head home, and my parents will pick me up and we'll head to IL to see my Grandma! 

I actually won't be home on Christmas break until the 21st or so. I need to come up with a work schedule for break, and all that fun adulting stuff. 

How are my readers doing? 


Friday, August 30, 2019

A year

It's been a year since one of my friends killed himself. 

Is the hurt gone? no. 

Do I still miss him? yes. absolutely. every day.

Do I still cry? yes. sometimes. 

Have I learned much? yes. too much. more than I ever wanted to. 

What have I learned? I've learned what it's like to grieve. I've learned how to cling to God and my church, and get through hardships together. I've learned to care more about every person, man or woman, young or old, apparently happy or sad. 

I've done things I never thought I would do in my life. Only a little while after Levi died, another man killed himself. and another. and another. Suicide was all around us. I walked into a Police Station with food and said "I'm sorry your comrade killed himself." I hugged a dear adviser and said "It hurts. I know. I wish I didn't. But it does. And here's how we're dealing with it." I've written a speech for a class about suicide, only months after it happened to me. I've argued for life. Your life. It's worth it. I promise.

-A Letter from Levi-
Do not stand by my grave and weep.
I am not there. I'm not asleep.
God's gift to me was just my soul,
That takes no space, and leaves no hole.
My body, made for strength and joy,
That did not grow much more than boy,
Is not what put the life in me.
I did not need my eyes to see,
Salvation to my Father's home.
Here I stand, and not alone.
My Father is forever God,
My family is great and broad.
My mother is my sister here,
Like all the saints that hold me dear.
I am, like all God chose to save,
Not buried in a six-foot grave.
I live! I live like Jesus does,
An unbound soul, not like I was,
Confused and anxious, brain and heart.
Now I cannot from truth depart.
I made mistakes I can't undo,
I robbed myself and others too.
All these sins my Savior knew,
When he said "I'll die for you."
He followed God the Father's plan,
Was born and died as God and man,
And rose again to lead the way.
And now I see him every day.
I worship like I never could,
Just like how I know you would.
Do not stand still in memories,
That are as changing as the trees.
Their rise and fall is seasonal.
They break and die the same as all.
Your bitter tears will dry so fast.
I'm telling you: this too shall pass.
Look up. You'll see that I am safe.
Look up, and also live in faith.
Do not stand by my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
- Caleb Streblow

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Eeeeeek. I haven't posted in about nine and a half weeks????? You may be wondering if I made it out of camp alive.